As I sit here writing this, I think back to 2018 when I wrote my last New Year blog post, about all that I had accomplished in 2018 despite my setbacks and thought to myself, “I’m going to get my life back in 2019”.
Well, I am here to tell you all: I have not gotten my life ‘back’.
And I am okay with that.
This new normal is teaching me important life lessons that are shaping my life’s path. It may not be what I imagined but…
Life happens for you, not to you.
When I became bathroom and bed ridden at the ripe age of 28, I was angry.
Angry that this was now my life.
Angry that I wasn’t able to take my pain away.
Angry that another health issue was happening to me.
Angry that I had to leave my job.
Angry that everyone else was moving on with their lives and career.
Angry that I have never felt ‘normal’.
The list can go on…
But where was being angry getting me? No where. All it did was increase my anxiety, which then increased my pain.
I was resisting this huge change that was happening in my life, rather than learning how to adapt and accept it. I was only seeing the bad, and none of the good. At some point in June of this year I realized I was being incredibly mean and hard on myself.
There is always some good in any situation, you just have to want to see it.
My good is my support system (family, friends, and this blog community). I know that no matter what happens, I’m going to be okay because I have family and friends who will help me get through it.
Progress is progress and I am proud of my 2019.
I may not have gotten my life back but I found so many other ways to enjoy life despite living with chronic pain. Mindfulness and gratitude being the biggest contributors in this shift of mine.
It may be a new year, but I’m still in the same pajamas.
And that’s perfectly okay in my books.
I hope all of you have a great 2020!
What will you be doing in 2020 to take care of your mental health?
Looking to get your medical information and life organized in 2020?
Proceeds go towards pelvic pain advocacy and research.